Singing with the unexpected
by Itssostrangehere
Summary: Alex singing in the shower? who stole his towel? Pimento cheese and santa claus.
1. Broken

* Only the idea was mine, no songs, characters, or places mentioned belong to me. *

APOV

Oh thank god for the glorious oblivion hot, steamy showers created. The constant lull and throb of my whole body was getting to be a bit much. I forced the hot water nozzle all the way over and hopped in the boiling hot water welcoming the relaxing spray. After an undeterminable amount of time the water had eased the knots my muscles had become and moving my shoulders no longer felt like they were encased in concrete.

"The broken clock is a comfort that helps me sleep tonight; maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time." I softly sang the song as I thought of the lyrics, _jack is my broken clock… without her I'd never sleep, and she tries to stop MI6 from stealing all my tomorrows too. _

And I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts; I am damaged at best like you've already figured out." I gained a little confidence as I was sure I knew the words. _I may doubt Jacks' ability to stop MI6 from using me but she does try… she truly tries to understand how damaged I really am. _

"I'm falling apart, barely breathing with a broken heart, that's still beating" My voice was confidently matching every note with every syllable now. _Falling apart… yes I am I…Ash…Ian…_

"In the pain, there is healing, in your name I find meaning" I sung strongly now yes, not quite badly either. _Healing in pain? What a contradiction, they obviously don't know real pain. Stupid lover boys, their whole life revolves around brainless chicks whose name would they find meaning in? _

After I decided that a mental fight with myself over a song was not in the best interest of my mental health, I turned the water off and reached outside the stall for the blue towel that I had left hanging by the door. Not finding it I groped around blindly until at last my hand landed on a hand holding my towel. _Wait…a hand holding my towel? Oh shi-._


	2. Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen

A/N – As Promised in _my_ profile

_A hand holding my towel? Oh, Shit. _

I cursed. Violently cursed. Then slowly moved to take hold of the towel to wrap around my waist and open the curtain to see who was going to kill me._ Well at least you'll die relaxed and happy._ As I slowly moved the curtain open the phrase _but what should my wandering I appear a dead assassin and eight tiny reighndeer _came to mind_ . _Ok so maybe there wasn't eight tiny reighndeer, but you get the point. There stood Yassen with a silenced .38. I almost made a snide remark about him watching little boys in showers but remembered I wasn't the only one in the house. "So are you going to shoot me or not? You might as well since I'm assuming you've shot Jack."

"I have shot no one here. If the red headed woman down stairs, is who you refer to as 'Jack' then no I have not shot her either. She is making sandwiches and snacks for us."

_Us? Say what?_ I was beyond bewildered. "Why is she making sandwiches?"

"Because we'll not be staying here long and won't be stopping for food until at least Denmark."

_DENMARK? Ok, I'm dreaming. Time to wake up Alex, wakey wakey!_ Shit, I was awake.

"I'm not going anywhere with you."

Yassen's emotionless face flickered to almost perturbed, "Yes, Alex. You will go with me. As will Jack, she has already agreed. Now if you would put clothes on other than that towel I will present you with evidence I believe you will find…convincing."

I just nodded, stepped out of the shower and made the way to my room. Yassen followed. As I passed the stairwell I listened closely and, surely enough Jack was humming her way through some American pop song and chopping something. Satisfied she was ok, I walked to my room, closed the door in Yassen's face and dressed in black jogging pants and a new black tee shirt, I thought about escaping through the window but _curiosity killed the cat_ and I really wanted to know what Yassen was here for.

I opened the door to Yassen standing in exactly the same place, motioned him in the room, and to my desk chair. I sat on my dresser which was a perfect place near both the door and window, I could also see anything Yassen was going to show me as _convincing proof._

"Well? Let's have it."

Yassen began to speak.

(A/N I _thought_ about ending it here.)

"MI6 has put out the word that you'll be burned. Meaning you'll have no protection from them, and therefore your enemies have all of your information. This information has become so widely available on the black market you'll be dead tomorrow. I am going to keep this from happening, as I've come to understand that you never wanted this anyways. I will take you to another country and, once there procure you a new identity, as well as your caretaker. After that, you may go on as you please."

It was a bit much to analyze, but I'm not a spy because I'm stupid!

"What's in it for you? No bull shit."

"I save John Riders' son from death one last time and, I make money in the process by feigning your death."

"So what you're saying is, getting shot gave you a conscience? Wow, we should shoot more psychos."

"Pack a bag, we'll leave in 10 minutes."

_Well it's settled then._ With that Alex began to pack his large footy bag with: Smithers' gadgets, underwear, socks, tee shirts, jeans, trainers, and a sweatshirt. _It's Yassen, who the hell knows where he'll take us._ After thinking for a moment I decided to add some toiletries _hate to be smelly. _I glanced around my room again and opted to take a picture of my mother and father with me. Seeing nothing else of great sentimental or monetary value I went downstairs. Yassen sat at the bar drinking a cup of tea.

"Where's Jack?"

He just pointed upstairs, and I decided to help her pack and make sure she didn't forget anything. I sat down my bag and took the stairs by two. Jack was in her room making a whirlwind of a mess throwing dresses, jeans, shirts, bras, underwear, shoes, and all other manner of clothing at her bed. "Jack. I'll get the necessary clothes together, you decide what sentimental items you need. Where's your duffel?"

She pointed under the bed and began to grab books from her bookshelf and put them in her messenger bag along with a few pictures and notebooks.

I drug her massive suitcase out from beneath the bed and shook my head a bit shamefully but packed it haphazardly anyways filling it with much the same things as I had mine only with more than one pair of shoes and a couple dresses. In the end I packed all her jeans, tee shirts, sweats, and unders while she debated with herself what she couldn't leave. By the time I was back upstairs from taking her suitcase down she had filled a duffel with books, cd's, pictures, electronics, and journals. _Jack is most definantly female._ I lugged this bag downstairs with me surprised to see mine and Jack's bags already gone and the front door standing open. I went on outside to what I assumed was Yassen's car and was surprised to see a 2010 ford explorer. "No sports car for the infamous assassin?"

"Unless you would like to be doubled over for the entirety of this trip, I do believe you'll find this much more comfortable."

_He has a point._ I gently tossed Jack's bag in the back hatch and went to see what was taking her so long in the kitchen. When I walked inside Jack was speedily filling a small variety of large picnic baskets with a large variety of food. "Jack, we had all this in our fridge?" She just nods and continues to parcel out the food into the different baskets. "Are you ok?" she turns to me her eyes full of tears "Oh, alex…I'm so scared."

This was the confession I had expected, I enveloped her in my arms and hugged her tightly. "Jack, it'll be so much better this way, you'll see."

Jack sniffled and wiped her eyes. "I've put air sealed containers of chicken, tuna, and egg salad in that one as well as pimento cheese. I didn't know what liked." She pointed to the first container of four, it was an insulated ice box. "That second one there is chips and bread, though I don't think it'll be enough for three of us for very long." This was a large picnic basket. "That red one is all the snack food I could find cookies, candies, granola bars, and trail mix mostly." My eyes might have been mistaken but I'm nearly positive there was a chocolate Easter bunny's ears sticking out one side of the basket. "And this one here is drinks, mostly water, but I've got those water bottle flavoring things you like so well in here too. Have I forgotten anything? Oh! Plastic ware."

She hurried into the pantry and came out with a grocery sack of plastic ware and napkins. "Jack, stop!" She was taking too long, and something wasn't feeling right anymore.

"Come on, I'll take the two coolers and the big basket, you take that and the red one and get out to the car, now!" Jack got scared and hurried to comply.

She hadn't heard it, but as soon as she'd opened the pantry door a light ticking had started, and that was never good. I grabbed the containers and ran out the door, not even bothering to shut it.

I roughly shoved all the bulky containers into the hatch and slammed it shut. Opening the rear passenger door and yelling at Yassen to drive before I was even in. He complied understandingly, and before we'd even left the drive way, my house had exploded into a ball of flame.

_Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin._ I thought sarcastically.


End file.
